i am WFH/out sick today. i've been fighting something mild for a few days and the stupid flu shot from yesterday probably sent my body over the edge. a friend is bringing over wonton soup shortly so help feed this cold, so yay! sadly, my plans for awesome sushi and jaunting around in the city tonight will have to be rescheduled since i have a pretty full weekend ahead and it's more sensible to take it easy so that i can give my body the rest it needs to recover quickly.
other than being a sickie, life is moving along and it's becoming pretty swell. several life adjustments had to be made recently, some of which were extermely difficult and took a LOT of self-discipline but in the end i knew i had to do what was best for ME. i think i spent too much time worrying about what other ppl wanted, what other ppl thought, and how i could help THEM. i didn't stand behind my own values b/c i thought i was this all-powerful, influential, giving and caring person who had what it takes to make a difference in someone else's life and in the process, i somehow got myself caught up in an upside down, topsy-turvy world where nothing was quite what it seemed and one where i lost trust in myself and in others. that was probably the worst part; losing trust in myself. i didn't trust myself to communicate my desires and expectations effectively, i didn't trust that i was saying the right things, and i certainly didn't trust myself enough to have it in me to put my foot down and put the brakes on a (self) destructive cycle. with the support of a few key friends, old and new alike, i was able to pull through it and start 'normalizing' my life.
one day, i might write about what i've learned in the last year but it might not be anytime soon since i'm still trying to understand WTF it is i did learn, if anything.
i leave you with pics of 1) memo-holder robots that someone made/gave to me this week (robots, robots, robots!!!) and of 2) halloween w/ 'ass backwards'.
seriously, a guy coming out of a donkey's ass, d*cks in boxes and a banana pug (get it??!?!?! a BANANA-PUG!!!). too awesome.
... another sad day for us :(.
nothing much to say at the moment so here are a couple songs which are more 'uplifting' than this post (i meant to rave about these songs earlier in the week and am now realizing i won't be in the right mood to do so anytime soon) and a quote someone posted this morning on their FB.
".. and the air is thin
and it blows through your skin
and you feel like something
is about to begin.
and the walls spin
and you're paper-thin
from the haze of the smoke
and the mescaline ..."
A transformer down the street blew out after catching on fire and power went out completely. We had 5 outages thru the morning but this one literally put us out on the street, complete with a campus-wide evacuation notice.
I sent the entire team home even before the evac notice, now am just laying around watching tellie and cleaning up the apt. Wish I just took the day off or had gone to the beach!
Kill me now and put me out of this misery- I actually find these kids adorable.
/Taken at yesterday's campus party./
Btw, it was almost impossible taking a picture of kids yesterday, they were bouncing off the walls from the sugar overload our company provided. I've never seen so much cotton candy around.
Wow, there is SO MUCH sugar flying around the office these days :(. Today I need to pick up ice cream for someone's bday surprise, there's a campud Halloween celebration where I'm sure cookies/candy/cake will be aplenty, yesterday we got a truckload of dove ice cream bars for our giving/charity campign and now I just found out on fb that someone has macaroons from France (must. eat. this) and she is willing to share one with me but "not with anyone else."
Weekend plans: get hair "did", two partays, maze/haunted house in a corn field, embark on quest for tomy "sunshine buddies" and just some good old fashioned errands. I sense fun times ahead.
i had to off two ppl but a girl has to do what a girl's gotta do.
when i was told last thursday that the window i've been eyeing forever was passed up by someone more senior than i, i immediately jumped on it. i asked if it would be OK to start moving my crap into the new office before the official move date (which is tomorrow, wednesday, 10/28) and he asked, "got cash?"
as a matter of fact, i did. i had $2. he laughed, "i was kidding!" when i showed up at his office with the money.
heck, "I'M NOT. if $2 is all it takes for you to give me the green light on moving in NOW, it's A BARGAIN."
recently a friend was in town and he introduced me to his fab cousin one day when we went to for lunch at santana row. my friend, being a little older than i, told his cousin "man, if i were your age again, i'd totally do things differently. i would have made different choices in my life" to which the cousin responded, "so what WOULD you have done, if you were my age (26) again?"
my friend couldn't come up with specifics. don't tell a kid that YOU would be in another place than where you are today if you haven't thought it through and can't articulate the specifics, and esp don't tell that to an intelligent, bright, driven and grounded 26 year old.
the cousin then turned to me and of course, asked me the same question. i had to give it a few minutes before concluding that yes, while my life isn't as fabulous at times as i had imagined it would be, ultimately, i have a good deal. i would not have left my company to join a start up nor would i have done something extreme as it just is not in my character to do so. so i only had these thoughts for him:
1) i would NOT have spent so much time and energy 'fighting the system' and being angry/upset about beauracracy/politics. there will always be politics, in any environment, and i should instead have found a way to make it work in my favour rather than just whining about how 'wrong' and 'messed up' things were. the glory days of 2000 are over and i had a hard time letting go of that.
2) i would NOT have severed some close friendships i had, just b/c we were too proud and/or mad at each other to apologize or to extend an olive branch to the other. i'm finding that these days, there were ppl in life from many yrs ago that i wish i had bothered to keep in contact with, b/c they played rather important roles and as i get older, i'm starting to appreciate how much their friendship meant to me. yeah, my ego got in the way. disclaimer: this does not mean that i regret not keeping in contact with EVERYONE that i've ever interacted with. some ppl don't belong in each other's lives or they need significant time to pass (eg: years) before attempting to reconnect.
curious: what would YOU do over again/different if you were ~5yrs younger ... 1) knowing what you do now and/or 2) NOT having the same knowledge as you do today?
anyway, what brought this on is seeing these quotes from 'before sunrise' and 'before sunset'... two of the best romance movies in the past 20 yrs, IMO.
If there's any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed, but... who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt.
--Before Sunrise
"I guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times."
--Before Sunset
WHOA, i posted LOTS this week. (almost) unbelievable.
have a great weekend, interwebs!
Win7 (AKA, most awesome OS evar) launched today. i've been using the RC for 5+ months and remember being weary of biting the bullet since i knew Beta was going to be available just a few weeks later, but am SO GLAD i did. there wasn't a need for me to move to the BETA and while i need to eventually get onto the released version, i've been happier than a clam with even the Win7 RC.
if you're even maybe, possibly considering it... DO IT! it's SO MUCH BETTER.
also, there might be less bitching about vista to endure as more ppl move to Win7. like seriously, i get so much crap from ppl, random strangers even, regarding vista that it's in my best interest to cajole as many ppl as possible into migrating to Win7 (hey, they even have a data migration feature. i was bad and didn't back up my data but... it worked! whew!).
anyway, i leave you with more KYLIE ACTION. i heart kylie, such a cutie!!!
me: "what does RTFM mean?"
coworker: "wtf? YOU of all ppl don't know? YOU DISAPPOINT ME, short one."
me: "round table F me?"
coworker: "... nice try. you get a few points back, but no."
me: "..."
coworker: "..."
me: "... =( "
coworker: "... bye."
hah, kidding. he didn't leave but i did find out what RTFM means in geek-speak. do YOU know? if not, want to make a guess?
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